"The Green Chair"

       It's a lovely, sunny, summer day in July. I know it's sunny not because it's July, {I live in Washington}, but because I could see it through the window from my bed that I had no business being in at 10:30 on a Friday morning. To be a little fair to myself I have been pushing through health issues for actually several years now. Some days are worse than others. With kids grown & less responsibilities as that of my younger years I can stay in bed if I want. But I have recurring internal battles sometimes too. As a result of this combination for three days straight, the bed was winning.
     My window is ground level as my room is part of a converted basement. Returning from the restroom I was just giving in to a day with my covers pulled up over my head when God sent me not one, but three Angels. My photographer girl, Rikki Kay & two of my amazing grand children, brilliant Alyx, almost twelve & Princess nature girl Kaydence, five. They are determinedly hiking up the hill which is our front yard that narrows past my window to the gate where they will gain access to the backyard & screened in back porch. Up five steps & in through the kitchen to turn left down the fairly long hallway to jaunt down the fifteen stairs landing them in my room. Sounds like a neat little excursion, huh?? It's a cool old house. The quick entrance & one we always use is through the garage, however the door was locked this time.
   For several days I had been sending up what I call "arrow prayers" kinda bugging God about how badly I needed my pc, which my lovely girl & her awesome Marine husband purchased for me on Mother's Day. It had technical difficulties & they took it back to have it fixed for me. I wasn't about to bother them about it but really needed it so I bugged God instead. Within days He sends Rikki. They got to my room & got me all set up & then I told her I wanted her to see how lush the blackberry bushes were getting out back. We got some clear containers to pick what was ripe. My girl, true to her one with nature persona who is practically Mother Earth incarnate, found the rose cutters & started trimming away the outrageously long trail of unnecessary growth, quickly replanted some neglected oregano & added her usual very loving touches here & there as she expertly deemed necessary. The kids always work out of their Momma's earshot for our time to be extended & I'm always on their side with that!! The old Sheridan House was feeling like entrapment lately anyway. It's a tough ministry with not just one or two but five men in various stages of lifelong griefs & addictions desperately needing God & hope. Shared housing is a revolving door. This depicts our current crew.
     One of my closest & favorite brother-buddies is a forty nine year old man named Jay. He's got to be 6"2, very slim but muscular, tanned complexion as he is Spanish on his grandmother's side, long pony tail, large expressive eyes & ... an amputee. Right leg. Below knee. A patriotic prosthetic proudly displaying our American flag as the true American he is. Though a former veteran this accident is not a result of serving our country but a heinous car accident. To hear him tell his story, he came to at the accident site & nudged his buddy saying,"C'mon Ryan, wake up." And again with a nudge,"C'mon Ryan ya gotta wake up. We gotta get out of this"!! But Ryan never woke up. So my dear friend suffered the horrendous trauma of personal body loss, repercussions in court, & the demon called survivors guilt that he still feels ten years later.
     At the time of the accident Jay was at the very pinnacle of seeing his goals & dreams come true. Born to be an athlete & I am personally convinced a renowned speaker of some sort as well. He has a certain soothing timbre to his voice. I have expressed this to him. A natural given voice for a therapist, a DJ, a motivational speaker, a preacher. HA!! Gotcha there Jay. Trust me he will see the humor in this.  Jay was just about to get his PGA & actually wanted to teach golf. He came from a loving & decent household with an outrageously hard working father who had not one but two careers that supported my friend, his siblings & mother.
    As if life's curve ball in the form of that horrific car accident weren't enough, my friend also experienced nine years, not months, YEARS of homelessness. During that time on the streets of Seattle he remarkably created a live podcast & he may need to correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe he called it, "Eating For Pennies". He performed the show with his girlfriend who bounced off very well with him. They sounded like several of the very good radio show duos you hear on the air. Someone with clout finally heard the show & were going to really get it out to the masses when another tragedy befell him which I will spare the details of but put him into yet another tailspin.
  I know from this man being one of my five room mates that he is polite, a gentleman, esteems women highly, is gracious & very generous. He has the tidiest room in the house & spends fifty percent of his time, probably more, in a hard rocking chair albeit a nice one. Most furniture is not made with people over six feet in mind. And really?? Rocking chairs are made for the beginnings of life and sadly, the endings. Those of us in our golden years are far from ready for that. God knows it will come soon enough!!
  My girl Rikki & I spend the entire day first at the park with the kids, then her place where she made us all some scrumptious home made Spring rolls. We hop in her Jeep around 5:00 p.m. & make a stop at the infamous "Dollar Store" before heading back to Sheridan House. As we casually cruise up Sheridan Ave. enjoying the early evening sun & fresh air, we pass the last block before we get to the old house. As we just pass the corner something green catches my peripheral vision. I rudely interrupted our Mother, Daughter talk as I'd quickly flipped my head to the left seeing what it was that caught my eye & said,"Hey!! Can we go around the block??" Rikki says,"Sure".
  "It's a green chair. It looks like a nice hunter green chair. A lot of what people push out to the curb is junk."
   This was not a wooden chair painted green. This was not a lawn chair in a nice shade of green. Upon closer inspection this is a plush, swivel chair that is a deep hunter green. It not only rocks but fully reclines. It is solidly in tact, great condition, good quality, originally probably at least a $300.00 chair. The only thing was the material on the arms were a tad worn & there was lint around the sewn in buttons where your back would rest. So as I'm envisioning how I'm going to rearrange my comfortably sized bedroom to accommodate this lovely, comfy chair, I clearly hear God speak to my heart & say in that still, small voice,"Jay". He has spoken Jays name to me several times when I have been shopping & looking for various things and I am called to be light & life to those whom light & life has been taken from. To show love in the form of kindnesses large & small in the ways I am spiritually directed.
  My former Army girl skillfully maneuvers her Jeep backwards at rather a sideways slant as all these homes were once hills. She spritefully jumps out of the drivers seat. Alyx had already been inspecting the chair with me & was at my side,{his favorite place to be by the way}. I faked helping more than actually doing anything. But my strong & agile grandson with his equally strong & agile Mother somehow got this extremely heavy & swiveling chair into the back of this Jeep. And let me say here that if this Jeep could talk it would write it's own novel with all the amazing adventures it has been on!! It's parked at a funky angle & the door won't shut. Of course we weren't prepared for this surprise so the luxury of bungees wasn't available.  As we only had to cruise up past six or seven houses my grandson firmly gripped this chair while leaning over the mid-seat & reaching into the back, his stomach straddled the back of the seat while his long legs stretched to the back of the two front seats & my sturdy five year old princess kept a grip on his legs. What a sight!! It was awesome!!
   We reverse into the steep driveway at Sheridan House & hop out of the Jeep. Well, I probably hopped the least. With all the traumas this fifty six year old body has been through I am not as springy as I should be & admittedly the gym has forgotten who I was.
    Alyx takes Nanas tote with my keys attached & dangling & enters through the front door. He runs down the second short flight of stairs from the foyer & exits left from the hallway door into the old garage letting us in through the garage door. I show him where the garage opener is & once open he & his lovely, strong Momma get the chair deposited inside. I return through the short hallway of our converted basement & see Jays bedroom door half open as is his custom when he's in his room. He was heavily medicated, his long, thin form asleep in the rocking chair, head bent forward, long hair hanging down. A scene I have observed many, many times walking past his room to mine.
    It is a personal thing to me to never awaken sleeping people. This time, I had to. As he came from his reverie in a disoriented fashion he tried to make sense of what I was saying. As he became lucid he really didn't know what to say. But I saw delight on his face. He has said himself he feels undeserving of anything. He beats himself down very, very hard as so many of us do, buying the lies that creep into our mind that occupy space without paying rent.
   My kids get that beautiful, heavy chair maneuvered into his room in the place where that hard old rocker had just sat. He is proclaiming how nice & how sweet we are & how he just couldn't believe it. We were simply being the hands & feet of Jesus extended in this place I have been sent.
    He is always grateful for company & very apparently didn't want it to end. But end it had to. Not without a big group hug however.
     The burden in my heart is lighter knowing my friend will be in front of his small screen T.V. in his dimly lit room but in far greater comfort as his medications lull him to sleep. Everyone deserves niceness, love & comfort. Especially those life has beat up the hardest.
      I will always remember the gift of this green chair. In fact, at this moment I can hear Jay snoring softly. And to think, I was merely seconds away this morning from pulling the covers over my head.
      Thank you Lord. For those three Angels.

Yours At The Keys: Sher <3
     

Makin' Bacon

I believe it has the powers to bridge the gap of a prior nights argument. I believe it can turn a cranky child in to a happy camper. I believe it can turn a normally calorie conscious person into one who justifies. Also, for me, there is something about the slow, deliberate turning and scooting of the luscious pork that causes me to have to stand still long enough to ponder some things I have put on the back burner, ha!, no pun intended. So on this fine Eve of our glorious Independence Day, I find myself wanting to stop everything I was going to do for a minute & cook up some bacon. I carefully cut across the top lengthwise as is my custom & throw the thin strip away in the recycle bin. I peel ' back the first piece & set it into the warming pan.

I would like to interject at this point that as a person nearly nine years into "Recovery", right brained & pushing through life long Post Trauma, I have , at now 55 years old , come to closure with many baffling things concerning the person I am. Why I've always felt so outside of the outside of the circle. Why I was SO unorthodox with everything I did. Why I was what I prefer to call deliberate which the rest of the world calls s-l-o-w. What does this have to do with makin' bacon  you might be thinking about now. In what is my world?? Everything.

Structure & schedules I have always been rather in opposition to. I say that's just something from my era as a baby boomer being raised up in that "hippie" culture. But processes, staging, & methodology are necessary to ensue a properly functioning brain in this prodigy. Seals with an answer why I am unstressed after going through the protocol required for making lasagna, canning fruit butters, mending clothes or braiding hair. Back to the bacon.

In a choreographed manner I set the bacon slices side by side. I gaze intently into the pan as though I am about to deliver the long awaited answer for the cure of breast cancer. Shifting the pieces around, gently turning, making sure the temp. stays low & slow, I consider this place I am now at in my life.
Not in a million years nor in my greatest imagination could I have come up with something better than the reality of the current "living" situation I find myself in.

It is known in many states as "shared housing". Other terms are, transitional housing or communal living. One resident/roommate whom has become like family to me says it's ,"just a step up from a boarding house". Ha!! Ha!! If I didn't keep light of everything?? I'd certainly lose my mind. Thank you for continued grace God!! And for showing me that my circumstances by no means dictate WHO I am !! So.... I have been in this type of living for exactly two years now originating from actual homelessness w/my then 17 year old girl. After two months in the family shelter we transitioned out. I have been 2 years with this landlord whom has acquired thirteen other houses of the same type. 6 people per home. Personal bdrms. pose as the main living quarters. Kitchen, bathrooms, yard areas common ground for all. I must thank God for people like him. Even if he is doing this as a career choice because he has become wealthy or simply as a result of having a heart like a Samaritan for those such as myself , it is a wonderful thing to have a secure roof over my head, adequate, healthy water, decent & appropriate clothing through the seasons. If the rent comes faithfully , ANYONE can rent from this man. Scary how the "Almighty Dollar" can dictate what's allowable & what isn't!! This shouldn't be.

Every single thing I own now fits in one bedroom. How much do we really NEED anyway?? And it's "freeing". I feel unencumbered. It's wonderful. What's NOT wonderful are some of the people that transition through. Stories for another time for sure!! So, in the approximate 30 minutes ,{ I can work that stove to take 40 minutes for bacon if I REALLY have a lot of contemplating to do } , it takes to cook this stuff, I have sorted through many a thing mentally AND produced part of an awesome breakfast at the same time!! I quickly scramble some eggs with cheese sauteing some fresh parsley, onion & garlic to add in the final moments, brown up some artisan bread & "VOILA"!! Breakfast AND 1/2 of the 10 kinds of science mastered in one stroke!!

And there we have it. A heads up. If you are ever invited to where I am for a homeade breakfast & happen to observe me "makin' bacon", hand on hip, head tilted downward gazing intently at the project at hand, you will be one of the "remnant few" who will be keyed in realizing there is far more going on than the mechanics of cooking a tasty meal. It is what the true magic is of "makin' bacon".
Yours At The Keys : Sher

Freedom on the Inside

I first understood these words being released from a short term in prison. Yes, prison. And if you saw me you would know that is the last place you would ever picture a person like me. The girls inside said so too. Live & learn. Yet some don't, I did. But by the "Grace" of God go I. That is a story for another time. However, there was a particular Bible being handed out there. Paperback. Steel Blue, artsy design. On the back cover was a pair of muscled, shackled hands. The kind of shackles used on the old slave ships, 3" inches in length, thick, not the "bracelets" you see today. The words above the picture said,"Freedom On The Inside". The picture & those words have remained etched in my mind through the years, resurfacing on many an occasion. You can look at the faces of children & families in less privileged countries than America & see they have true joy. I have seen genuine Peace on the faces of those whose lives are being robbed by cancer. I have seen authentic Love being displayed through forgiveness after a heinous crime was committed. Freedom on the inside. It is not a given. It is worked for. Not as in "9 to 5" for 50 years with a now obsolete pension. Not shuffling amongst the rat race, forging ahead through the muck & mire of life to pay off a mortgage. {And lucky to pay it before you die}. Not even being committed to a spouse after taking "forever" vows. It is personal. It is individual. It is not always nor easily attained. For shackles can enclose the heart, capture our mind which is our soul. It can wind like Ivy through our spirit. It can encapsulate our very thought processes. It can hold us captive. More captive than I was behind bars. It is a profound hell of sorts. There are select "catch" phrases that I detest. "Life's not a bed of roses", comes to mind first. Well .... ya think?? Usually coming from someone who is living what I call a "charmed" life. "Don't live in the past". True that. Don't. All the regrets in the world won't & can't change it. HOWEVER can I please talk about the "past" in the course of conversation sometimes to get closure & GET PAST the past ?? Trust & believe there is A LOT of past from 54 years. Thank you. "Life is what you MAKE it". Yep. When life sends perpetual storms, no , not rain, not storms, tidal waves & monsoons, taking out an umbrella just won't cut it. AND for many, life was MADE into a wonderful career because mommy & daddy cared to pay for your college not pharmaceuticals to dope you up. "Make better choices." This ones classic. One of the reasons I have "made the choice" not to hang out with groups of women. One Pastors wife so ignorantly stated,"Well surely once you hit 40 you automatically KNOW better about certain things." KNOW better than what ?? Spoken from someone who has had a "good" life with ONE husband & can hit the salon to maintain the "perfect" hairstyle every 6 to 8 weeks ?? Talk to your own kind woman. I used to live like her. It's more bondage than the shackles. Having to feel I could not step out the door without the perfect 30 minute make-up application & every hair in it's proper place. Even then feeling like I didn't look "right". What I've come to learn after life's heinous, perpetual attacks against me is WHO I REALLY AM !! Praise God !!!! I KNOW who "I AM !! Not who my mom & daddy said I was. Not who my ex-husbands wanted me to be. Not a "step ford wife" model of every other woman .... ME !!!! I am a unique woman extra ordinaire !! I am "every woman" as Whitney so beautifully sings. I am an exceptional, talented, giving loving, Momma, Nana, sister, daughter & friend to countless many who have crossed paths with me on this journey called life. I am rather known internationally by several in countries such as Arabia & India as a result of my ministry services with brothers & sisters in Christ everywhere !! I searched for myself in "ALL" the wrong people, places & things.  At 54 years old,  I FOUND ME. It's wonderful !! It's fabulous !! It's freeing !! YOU can have it. Freedom !! TRUE FREEDOM !! Freedom on the inside !! You don't have to land in prison & get kicked to the curb 50, 000 times like I did. You don't have to work 9 to 5 forever & hope at that time you have earned it. You  don't have to wistfully ponder," I have done everything 'RIGHT' & it still evades me." Connect with the "lover of your soul", Jesus Christ. Take time to know you. If you don't know you, find you. You can be found. Where there's life, there's hope. One of my greatest desires in life is for "ALL" God's people, every color, every nation, every religion, everywhere to find TRUE freedom !!!! Freedom in the heart, freedom in the soul, freedom everyday, all the time with every breath; freedom. THEN one can LIVE !! Truly live. Regardless of salary or stature. Regardless of geographics or habitations. Regardless of what is had or not had. To breathe in & breathe out .... FREEDOM !!!!

"View From A Jeep"

So-o.... I'm back !!!! Hundreds of stories have been experienced as everyday is a story. I have so much churning inside so there's much catching up to do. Like 50 years worth. Hopefully I will become more dedicated to this gift that's graciously been given to me. I just received that revelation this morning. Something I heard as I have been struggling to pull out of this deep darkness called depression that decided to visit New Years Day morning and not leave for 6 weeks. Worded as it was it struck a chord that hadn't been struck before. Dedication to what I've committed myself to. I apologize for the letter style change. I can't seem to change it back. Anyway, I know this of course. About committed dedication.It was just the way it came to me this day. In this way. Valentines Day Eve morning. A ray of light came through my single bedroom window in my converted basement bedroom where I currently dwell. I'm still in "shared" communal housing. Far from ideal but beats the streets. This ray of light was special. The way my room is positioned to the house, when the sun comes out it is not direct. And as we have been in our rainy season here in  beautiful Washington state it has naturally been overcast, gloomy or foggy for awhile. "Light Therapy" hasn't even been possible. And the cutest, chubby little bird came to my ground level view and chirped the prettiest little song, looking in at me when I normally only get crows. Love from Heaven. God was visiting me. Saying,"Come. I've sent this for you. I Love you. Come feel the sun I have set out in the sky for you. Too much time has passed in mere existence. Live while you have today. " I had a pressing urge to hurry & shower which I find an impossible chore when depressed. But something lifted. That black cloud dissipated in the light. Within minutes I heard my cell phone playing it's tune. Expecting word back from my youngest girl, I was surprised to find it was from my oldest. Pleasantly surprised. Time with my grown children is few and far between as they are in their busy 20's & 30's years of their productive , young lives. They tend to forget about their Mommas. Sometimes out of sight is out of mind. Maybe more accurately I'm placed on the back burner. It's the natural way of things at this stage of life .... unfortunately. I understand. Rachel & I had plans four days prior to this but I have been trying to pull out of this horrible bronchial, strep, flu thing on top of the dreaded depression & just couldn't pull it together. I had to cancel. I Love that God knows the desires of our heart. I was yearning to see her before Valentines Day and lo and behold, here is my message from her simply stating," Hungry " ?? .... Is the sky blue ?? Today , yes it is. I hurriedly & happily do my best at beautification,{it takes longer as we princesses get older}. I'm getting my emotions, which have lain dormant for 6 awful weeks back & boy does it feel like new life infused into my being !! Would that I could abolish all depression from every living creature with a mighty nuclear blast from now forever more as it is a great thief of all that i good !! As I'm finishing up I'm wishing I'd taken heed at my first internal nudging of getting ready. I covet every precious moment I get with my children & grand children. They are what make my heart beat. Through all the profound sorrows and tragedies of my life, they are why my heart still beats, quite literally. One more one word text comes in, "Here", it says. I had pre-opened the garage door before I applied my make up so I could fly through, not wasting a second. I am one always "staging" in preparation for a departure. Regardless of when or where. I believe I have not seen Rachel since Christmas. WAY too long. I did fly through. Straight to her partially unrolled window grabbing her with a foreign feeling smile on my face, not willing to wait on an already overdue hug. Just to breathe her in, look at her lovely yet tired face for a moment before climbing into her navy blue Jeep. My youngest of 7 princesses is in the back seat. Every time I see her I am flashing back to the late 80's, early '90s as she is truly my Rachel's "mini-me". Her momma incarnate. To her soul. Three generations of us ladies occupying this vehicle. Love, Love, Love when this happens. Especially when Savannah's with us. Wish my own mom could join. Another story for another time for sure. So Rachels had her sights on a little Italian dig in Fircrest. Quaint & nostalgic. Like stepping into little Italy. Maybe 8 tables in the place. Italian through and through !! No cheeseburgers here. Everything Italian is close to my heart as I married one & have an Italian son from him. Memories of the DeLucas come flooding back. Passionate people these Italians. I developed deep Love or them. Of course most Americans I venture to say are raised with some diet including Italian fare so that is nothing new in itself. But I'm talkin' authentic here. I got quite good at genuine Italian cooking myself & am convinced it is one of the worlds most spectacular international delights. We order and take in our surroundings. Honestly like a scene from an old movie an elderly man walks up to the counter & yells,"HEY FRANKIE!! Where's Frankie?? How ya doin' ?? " My daughter was facing that direction from our small table & nudged me to notice. She always takes in 100 things at once. That's the photographer in her. We made rounds in the small store; Deli as they tend to our order. One couldn't find more authentic pastas, sauces & olive oils. I'm sure they are imported. The cost proved it. The lively mild chatter was inviting. A really cozy vibe permeates this place. As we hungrily partake of the scrumptious sandwiches, we try not talking with our mouths full to fit in every bit of conversation we can playing catch up in this ridiculously short span of time. My littlest Princess is happily munching a tiny side salad Rachel shares with her. I always say she is this full woman trapped in a living doll body. You would have to know her to understand. Her speech holds three and four syllable words at 4 years old. You can take her anywhere. She knows exactly how to act & not to act & trust & believe she can shop with the best of us !! All too briefly time slips away as all wonderful moments do & my Rachel has to get me back in time to pick up her little guy at school. My only Prince, Alyx. He will be a preteen before long here. Two of my favorite words.... don't blink. As we glide through traffic there are virtually no lulls in conversation. I don't even know what that means. I notice the skyscape. Perfectly true "sky blue". Luscious swirls of delicate, cottony clouds in sweeps & swirls. God showing off again. As we turn left at the last stop light, just passing lovely Wapato Park, I am once again saddened at the brevity of our time. In this case it really was brief. Less than 2 hours. Grateful to be sure for so much ne awareness lighting it's way into my mind & just for another chance to share whatever time I am given with my children be it 5 minutes or 5 hours. Every moment counts adding to all of my other moments at other times and seasons of my life with people I Love most. As I notice new streaks of silver insisting it's way through my once chestnut hair I am painfully aware of how fleeting time is and silently thank God for a most special day. Your at the Pen, Sher

Well .... hi there.... Lord I've been too long away from the "pen" OR more aptly put.... the "keys". What a journey. Last "I WAS" writing , my 17 year old Savannah & "I " were living in our own apt. with our beloved Emerald-Boo,{our kitty}. Life had settled into a "new kind of normal". As Savannah is the youngest of 4, {she was my "surprise" !!!! .... you're gonna have another "Angel" at 35 baby....} .... & what a pure delight she was. Silky black, wavy hair, beautiful almond-shaped eyes, & a tiny "I'm-gonna-break-into-a-smile-any-second-mouth."And that darling expression has ALWAYS been on her pretty face. Somehow, she is a whole 19 years old & married. 3 months. I won't go into all that right now. Teen marriage seems to be "trending" again however.  It's been a "LONG,LONG" time for my writing. You see .... Savannah & I became homeless 20 months ago. "I AM" just now becoming more "mentally functional" after that trauma & adjusted to this "multiple-resident housing thing". S0-0 the story I feel I should condense these "jumbled thoughts" to & share will be this "adventure". Starting with the day the "Sheriff" locked us out. I "KNEW" homelessness was coming our way for the past 3 months & "I WAS" fighting it "tooth & nail". Praise God my then Pastor rescued us twice....once out of his own bank account !!!! God had been "rescuing" us at the 11th hour, 59th second, for several months & we felt no reason why "He" would change that strategy. Needless to say, the SECOND mistake " I MARRIED" conned his way quite professionally out of FOURTEEN years of child support. Guess his "secure roof" was more important than that of his children. O.k. .... enough of that. It ain't over 'til it's over !! Still.... it was creeping up on us. That "fateful" morning I got Savannah out the door & began mentally preparing myself for whatever was to come. It was her senior year. She left with a smile & her sweet, melodic voice said lovingly,"Don't worry Momma. It'll be alright. YOU KNOW GOD will come through. I'll see you after school."4 hours later ?? Nothing. Every single last ditch effort had been made to earn/gather my rent. Nada. I swear I was ever hopeful & surprisingly positive believing in miracles all of my life & seeing many. And then their it was. It was like a "death knell". The reverberating sound of the front door bell. My heart beat became rapid. I had very little packed as Savannah & I had been standing on our faith. I bravely opened the door. There to greet me was the leasing "Agent", the maintenance man, {the maintenance man ??} ...  yep, & your friendly local Sheriff. Lol. The cop looked at me like "I WAS" stupid. "You know the date today ?? " He said."Yes sir.... I surely do. March 18th, 2013. {A date forever etched in my memory. 10 days after my Savannah's 17th birthday.} " He said,"You have no more than 30 minutes to collect what you can as we "stand by". That moment ?? I went into a form of shock. "I WAS" on "auto pilot". My brother-buddy Shawn had shown up in case this "scenario" was really going to become a reality. It did. Shawn drove his pick-up over. What I could fit into the back ONE time ?? We got to keep. "I had NO place" to go . Our precious & VERY pregnant kitty cat "Emerald" I could not take. I always called her my "Emerald Queen". She was "due" in about a week. "I WAS" very nearly sick to my stomach at the thought of not only parting with her but locking her out the back door. The floating thought simultaneously passed through my mind that Savannah was happily at school,{Savannah LOVED school}, believing with "ALL" her heart that our God was going to provide the rent that morning. Where was I to go ?? I knew I needed to keep the tragedy from her so she could focus on school. I would text her at school's end. Some of that late morning into early afternoon is a blur. .... God IS good .... ESPECIALLY when you're living a "Footprints In The Sand" segment of life. It was "THEN" that "HE" carried "ME". I had been called into a fast the day before. The Lord knew what we were about to endure. "I went walking all afternoon, seeking "Him" & biding the time knowing I had to text my girl the "news". The sun came out though the fresh air was a tad biting. I felt an unnatural "Peace".... I felt "His" presence. I can honestly say the good Lord has NEVER, EVER let me down. EVER. Through an entirely traumatic life, "He" has been, to me, EVIDENTLY there !! .... It is 2:55 p.m. I have to send the text. "I AM" at the corner gas station by the bus stop. Savannah & I catch the #53 here quite often where I write my "View From A Bus" stories from. I messaged her to get off the school bus at this location instead of her usual which normally would take her just another block farther. She messaged,"O.k. Momma.... why" .... she had no doubt our faith in use meant we still had a home. My heart sank as I replied,"I'll tell you when I see you".... I delved inwardly deeper into that "secret place" with my Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ. Lord I inwardly cried,"PLEASE prepare Savannahs heart now for this news. Our lives have instantly, drastically changed & may never be the same. Grace Jesus, please !! .... In the last 5 minutes before her bus came.... "I wandered" around the corner as I had been praying. When I came back around, there she was. That sweet child 'o mine. She looked so innocent, so young, so alone yet .... trusting, peaceful. I went straight to her & instantly wrapped my arms around her. My children are the air that "I BREATHE".... they keep my heart beating.... they give me a reason & hope to persevere through my life that's endured nothing but hardship. I slowly pulled away. Of course she knew. Huge tears filled her beautiful blue eyes. She began to shake. Fear crept over her. She said ,"Momma.... I can't go through this kind of thing again. What are we going to do ?? WHERE are we going to go ?? .... Her eyes were S0-0 huge, so scared, so.... I wanted to die. My heart spoke the Name....Jesus. Then aloud, softly, Jesus. And the name of one, sole friend entered my mind. I said ,"C'mon baby.... I know where to go. It'll be O.k." .... Savannah was literally weak in the knees as I kept my arm around her little waist waiting for the light to turn green. It wouldn't be a long walk. The "Good News" is .... we had not only warm, but loving shelter that evening with our "Church" friends. From that point, they paid 2 days & nights at a motel/apt. which stretched into a week with other "Church" family corraling around us in Love & support. There was a total of 2 months spent at a local, wonderful "Christian" family shelter. Savannah only had to stay 1 month and her sister took her in. The shelter opened every door needed for me to gain access to the resources necessary to obtain "housing" getting us on our feet again. Only 1 night "I HAD" to spend sleeping behind an "H& R Block" building.... & I can chuckle now, but this was "AFTER I LEFT" the shelter & couldn't get a hold of my "overnight stay" person. There is a "Divine Purpose" in it "ALL" .... Years ago, when my eldest 2 grand daughters were small, they'd come to Nana's, we'd blast up our favorite "Christian" tunes & sing & dance together "ALL" through the house. One  of our "pet" songs said,"I wanna be your hands, I wanna be your feet.... I wanna 'GO' where you send me, 'GO' where you send me." For us those aren't just words to a song.... they are a declaration to the Lord. EVERY morning, appreciating the lusciously warm water in my shower, I'd pray for the homeless. 6 years later ?? God tested me. AND Savannah. WE ARE "Ruth & Naomi. Where you go , I'll go.... where you stay, I'll stay.... when you move, I will follow. "I AM" residing with 5 others in a "Shared Housing" residence, my 2nd one since leaving the "shelter". For 8 months "I snuck" my child into a certain place nightly so she would have shelter as well. My baby met a young man during our 1rst year getting back on our feet. They wed in August this year & occupy a "Christian Agape" house. There is GREAT need for ministry in these "step down" places from the "shelter". I rec'o'nize "I AM" on the "local mission field" & Jesus is preparing me for far away lands. "My Heart IS 'HIS'.... 'HE' put me to the test.... & 'He' knows I truly WILL.... 'GO' where 'He' sends me. God never sleeps nor slumbers. "He" ALWAYS hears us when we pray. Sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no, sometimes it's wait. Sometimes we are taken aback as our "answer" seems hidden & it "feels" like Jesus has left us. This is a "desert place, a wilderness season". This is a place of great growth, stretching, reaching new levels & heights. Our relationship with "Him" matures, becomes ever more secure as we learn, in these "wilderness seasons" to trust "him" even more, apply deeper faith, watch "Him" show "His" strong arm great on our behalf. "He" IS faithful,"He" is just,"He" is True, "He" will never let you down. Oh .... & Emerald ?? She was taken in by an older single woman. A former "WAC" nurse in Vietnam. She ran away twice & was found at our apartment doorstep. I know she was awaiting Savannah's return.This is "bittersweet". It's O.k. though. Everybody is safe & warm  .... Selah .... Yours At The Keys, Sher;)   

A Heart for an Eye: Save Rocky!: I found Rocky on a Tuesday evening while walking m...

A Heart for an Eye: Save Rocky!: I found Rocky on a Tuesday evening while walking m...: I found Rocky on a Tuesday evening while walking my dog Birdie. i was returning home when.  His eyes were crusted shut . He hardly had th... "I AM" exactly the kind of soul that needs "Kardashian" $$ .... I would be broke in a week & that would be wonderful to me because I would help  heal , save & restore EVERY child, animal  & impoverished soul on the Planet !!!! .... Since "I AM" not financially wealthy yet, I pray without ceasing for these situations. It really eats my lunch while the "elite, wealthy & bored" folks of the "rich" areas in the World are wondering what boring part of the Earth they can "Vacation" to next while helpless , innocent children, animals & the poor continue to suffer needlessly. God help us "ALL" as a "Judgement Day's" a comin' & God don't like ugly.... "He" don't like ugly.... Blessings & may the necessary $$ come to you from the North, South, East & the West in a spectacular way that will blow your mind so you can declare it to others that,"WOW !!!! .... That had to be God, it must be God.... IT IS GOD that showed up because "He" cares for "ALL" His Creation in Jesus Mighty Name, Amen & Amen <3 <3 <3 .... Selah <3

A View From...: .... " A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS " ....

A View From...: .... " A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS " ....: .... AS I CONTINUE QUIETLY GAZING AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF MY ONLY GRANDSON & YOUNGEST "PRINCESS", MY 52 YEAR OLD MIND REFLECT...